Jesus, Please Slam This Bitch.

Alright, hookers. First installation of the black man process. I know. I'm excited too. Calm the fuck down. 

Anyhoo... the topic of the day is MC Hammer pants and the fake-ass bitches that try to pull them off. I understand that people are allowed to pretty much wear whatever the fuck they want, but c'mon... unless you're MC Hammer himself, you have NO right to wear such an atrocity. First of all, you look like a fucking idiot walking down the hallway with your "swagga'" and your stupid-ass Nicki Minaj shirt... just stop it. Second of all, IDFK when "swagga'" became defined as "wearing a fucking diaper in order to look like an even bigger ass than you already are". Please, someone tell me if I'm wrong. Third of all... just no. Fuck no. If you wear hammer pants, then you're officially my enemy. I will go out of my fucking way to ask Jesus to let your ugly-ass, diaper-clad soul go to hell. Fourth of all: the bitches I see wearing hammer pants are the bitches that wish they were black. Now, seriously... do you really think you look gangster with a pair of leopard-print reverse jodhpurs, a GaGa t-shirt, Nike's that probably didn't even come from a fucking Nike store, and an ugly-ass haircut? HELL TO THE FUCK NO, BITCH. Sit the fuck down, get your earbuds outta' your ears, and listen: you look like an idiot. And now I'm done with you.

Picture of the Day: 

Maury. The man is a fucking genius. He makes millions of dollars by exploiting the idiots of the world. So, this one's for you, Mr. Povich.

Dumb Celebrity Quote of the Day:

"I'm so smart now. Everyone's always like 'take your top off'. Sorry, NO! They always want to get that money shot. I'm not stupid." - Paris Hilton

God, this whore is fucking brilliant.

That's all I have for today, bitches. Always remember to stay classy, but not too classy; let your inner Kardashian ass roam free; and wear a condom during anal sex... because all politicians come from somewhere ;)
XOXO